What would you do if your son flunked a grade?
by Toy Buyer on 23/08/09 at 6:52 pm
Bellatrix asked:
My son just flunked 3rd grade, after constant attention and pushing all year both from his teacher and me. We thought he might have a learning disability, but it turned out he is just stubborn and lazy. Now, he has to complete 3rd grade again. I am now toying with the idea of sending him to private school for his second year of grade 3. Anyone ever had to deal with this? Have you tried private school as an alternative? How did your remedies work?
I looked into Sylvan, I would have to take out a loan to send him there. Also, regarding punishing and removal of privledges, I did that. He used to have extracurricular activities-all of which he eventually lost, simply because he could’nt keep up with his homework. He wants to do Karate, but not enough to work for it. Regarding video games, tv, etc….He gets none of those. He lost those BEFORE the activites went away. I am telling you, this is one stubborn kid.
Does Your Child Love Animals?
My son just flunked 3rd grade, after constant attention and pushing all year both from his teacher and me. We thought he might have a learning disability, but it turned out he is just stubborn and lazy. Now, he has to complete 3rd grade again. I am now toying with the idea of sending him to private school for his second year of grade 3. Anyone ever had to deal with this? Have you tried private school as an alternative? How did your remedies work?
I looked into Sylvan, I would have to take out a loan to send him there. Also, regarding punishing and removal of privledges, I did that. He used to have extracurricular activities-all of which he eventually lost, simply because he could’nt keep up with his homework. He wants to do Karate, but not enough to work for it. Regarding video games, tv, etc….He gets none of those. He lost those BEFORE the activites went away. I am telling you, this is one stubborn kid.
Does Your Child Love Animals?
Stacy R
Aug 25th, 2009
Check out these Intellectual Products
Make him do it over. He’s the one who has to work for it.
skertrevir
Aug 25th, 2009
Creative Toys
I would suggest tutoring as well. It’s possible that he had trouble with some sort of concept, then fell further and further behind, which may have contributed to his stubbornness and laziness.
Private schooling isn’t necessarily better, but some one on one attention might help him out to make sure he’s comprehending what he is learning in class.
jonasianbuddy
Aug 28th, 2009
Does Your Child Love Animals?
try like no tv, pc, ps2 and other stuff ur son might enjoy…
mrscmmckim
Aug 28th, 2009
Award Winning Baby Toys
I suggest you take him to Silvans.
gentlgodis
Aug 31st, 2009
Give Your Baby a Headstart
Make him do it over and put him on punishment. You should also get him a tutor to help him.
captures_sunsets
Sep 2nd, 2009
Learn How to Make Learning Fun
just by doing the grade over might be some help, because the stuff he knows will come easy but,the things he is not so strong on he will get another year of and then will be ready for 4th grade. Have you tried giving him an incentive for good grades, it could be something simple or something big at the end of the school year give him a goal and something to strive for. Best Of Luck!!
JT
Sep 4th, 2009
The Coolest Educational Toy
Private schools are normally better, but the greatest influence on his grades is you.
foolnomore2games
Sep 7th, 2009
Does Your Child Love Animals?
I am not sure if I would try a private school. At least not in our area. Many private schools have the same problems or more of the public schools.
Children are not just naturally lazy. There has to be a reason behind his laziness. I would strongly suggest counseling and some strong parent intervention over the summer.
I would definitely look into other school options. But remember private schools are not your only other options!
LetMEtellAskYOU
Sep 10th, 2009
Personalized NameTrains is the Perfect Gift
it is him, not school.. dont waste your money on private school. Maybe you want to use money on tutoring.. if he is lazy, discipline him more.
But most of all, encourage him in a positive way…!!
Remember… Every successful person come from failure!!
Julie J
Sep 12th, 2009
Check out these Intellectual Products
have him go to summer school.
sam21462
Sep 13th, 2009
Personalized NameTrains is the Perfect Gift
Yeah .. nothing like constant pushing for a third grader … have you ever considered you are being counterproductive?
I feel so very sorry for your son.
Constantly pushing a third grader ….. sheeeesh
dvz
Sep 16th, 2009
Check out these Intellectual Products
Number One,
You might consider monitoring the T.V…..
Only let him watch it AFTER doing the home work..
This includes you..
No T.V. unless you are there.. Only one hour per day..
Good Luck.
Natas
Sep 18th, 2009
Learn How to Make Learning Fun
the kid is smart he knows school work is all bs.
get him a guitar and let him become a rock star.
Get him to play sports and other fun stuff that could make him big.
I got my degree and if i could do it over again i would trade the 1000 books i read for time spent learning hard songs on the guitar.
Playing sports for strength and so on.
I see these fat doctors and lawyers and they are *****.
Jet
Sep 21st, 2009
The Coolest Educational Toy
If he gave the effort and still flunked I’d give the private school thing a shot; He he indeed is stubborn and lazy, as you put it, I’d whup his a*ss and monitor his progress on a daily basis while he went back to the same public school as last year. Peer pressure will be pretty tough on the flunky.
susuze2000
Sep 22nd, 2009
Award Winning Baby Toys
you might consider a summer camp or program to see if you can find out why he is so apathetic about school….it may be that once he finds a subject he is interested in, it will spur him on to learn other things….i think maybe a program at the ymca or boy scouts would be an excellent thing for him….school atmosphere, the food they serve (which is atrocious), kids around him and even uncaring teachers may all have a hand in this….do what you can to increase his interest in learning but also remember that he is a child and has fun things on his mind, not school…..
cookie2156
Sep 24th, 2009
Give Your Baby a Headstart
I went to private school from Kindegarten to 8th grade, and while I don’t know that a child needs 9 years of it, I strongly encourage parents to consider it during the beginning years (maybe until about grade 6) because I feel that it gave me an edge when I transferred to public school.
Also you might consider a tutor. High school and college students work well because they need the extra income, and are usually more in tune with the teaching methods used now than parents are.
Another suggestion would be to turn studying into games. For example, if your son has 20 vocabulary words to learn each week for a test on Friday, make matching cards and play memory with him. Or make up funny rhymes about things he has difficulty remembering. Reward him when he improves. Good luck!
lizz7677
Sep 27th, 2009
Personalized NameTrains is the Perfect Gift
Try a summer program and maybe a tutor to help him build his study skills. Maybe there is something else wrong besides the learning maybe he is depressed or is having some problems with some of his classmates. A couselor or therapist could help you get to the real problem. If you doubt the public schools in your area though, private may be the way to go for you. Possibly a school with a strict discipline policy. Also just switching schools may help if he is having a problem with his classmates.
Karate is more than just a sport or activity it could help him build the self esteem and self discipline he needs.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Sep 29th, 2009
Creative Toys
Hi
No child wants to fail.None.I have dealt with hundreds and I havent found one who wanted to fail.Look inwards there is very little a third grader can do wrong.What could you do to help,if you are trying to teach him I suggest you stop,you are too attached to his performance to do a decent job.Get him a good tutor to work with him patiently,let go for sometime please allow him to develop a liking for what he does.I am sorry I am coming on so strongly.Please think about it,no child wants to fail he just needs a little nurturing thats all!Try pvt school onbly if you are convinced the atmosphere at home is not conducive to studies a disciplined environment is always better than an indisciplined one.
Like a plant,he has all he needs you just ahve to have faith and help him.
ty
ald020472
Sep 30th, 2009
Check out these Intellectual Products
Private schools can be a costly alternative and may not prove any more helpful than the public school he attends now. Why not invest the money you would spend to send him there on special tutoring and incentives to help him with the motivation. I doubt very much he is just lazy and stubborn. I would be willing to bet that he fell behind at some point and became discouraged and hopeless, this is what in turn led to his lack of effort. Try to be a little compassionate and encourage your son. I think if you can do all of this you’ll see a big change. Best of luck.
JEAN D
Oct 3rd, 2009
The Coolest Educational Toy
tell him he did good
slymugsy
Oct 5th, 2009
Check out these Intellectual Products
Actually I wouldn’t send him to private school, in fact be firm yet understanding and go thru the second year of 3 rd grade as you did his first time around, He obviously needed to repeat 3rd grade, so look at it as he started school a year later than he actually did. And don’t forget that schooling now is set at a higher standard than when we were in school.
beauty
Oct 6th, 2009
Give Your Baby a Headstart
private school may work if he needs the extra attention, and offer rewards for good work make him believe that with hard work comes rewards. And make sure you set up punishments for lazyness and lack of work.
swdMO
Oct 7th, 2009
Creative Toys
A tutor would be better than a private school but here is a twist. Try finding a high school student to help. Children relate better to teenagers and actually work better because they want to please his mentor. You can call the high school and ask they refer someone from the honors program or a top student in a particular area.
coolgirlkristi
Oct 9th, 2009
Learn How to Make Learning Fun
My niece recently flunked kindergarten for the same reason. She knows her letters, she knows her numbers, but she refuses to do them unless she is in the right mood.
I would, having gone to a private school, say that is not the way unless he is having trouble learning because of being bullied or not getting along with his peers. If he has friends at his school and he is getting along with the other children, then taking him away from his friends and peers will only aggravate the problem.
We have learned that in order for my niece to start trying harder she wasn’t allowed to do the fun things she likes to do unless she worked with us on her letters and numbers first. No TV, no games, no playing with her pet guinea pig, no playing with friends until she was done with her homework. This worked, but you also have to find patience. Another thing is as a parent, make sure to let your child know how proud you are of them when they actually do their work and begin doing better in school.
Nevena
Oct 9th, 2009
Does Your Child Love Animals?
A friend of mine had 5 Fs on the end of the 4th semestar and his mom sent him to private school. Now he realises how big mistake he made becuase now we are screwing around (because here in Serbia, Europe where I live our public school finishes at 1 PM) and he’s coming back at 3 or 4 PM. I think that’s a good lesson but if you do that only for a year not over. And of course if you can afford it.
docjtc1
Oct 11th, 2009
Give Your Baby a Headstart
Without knowing what methods were tried to solve the problems, anything that is written is sort of meaningless. Did he flunk every subject? How far into the school year was it before you sat down with the teacher to discuss things? What motivates your son? Did you try using those things as a reward for acheiving better grades? Repeating a grade isn’t the worst thing in the world for a child, but unless the circumstances and environment around him change, he may not have success going forward.
Patty L
Oct 11th, 2009
Does Your Child Love Animals?
I have nannied a child from 3rd-5th grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD. In my opinion (I am awaiting my certification as a middle school math teacher), He needed some attention, not just someone who was there to teach or make him learn his math. Because I was more than a tutor, I was able to let him be himself. I learned how he learned. It wasn’t that he was lazy or rude or disruptive (although it seemed that way at first). He liked to be challenged, he liked to tell me what he had taught himself. Your son might be the same way. Instead of testing him on what he knows, ask him to show you what he knows using the objects or subjects that interest him-have him write a story based on his interest-see if his writing skills are up to par with the class-check his math using the money he has-what does he want to buy?-what would be the change?-Sometimes once they get that no one is excluded them as individuals, they follow the class assignments pretty well-they still need that one on one with mommy and daddy about what really interests them-This is how the great sciences were foster-No one really fits in the same mold. I hope you make a good decision.
jyoung1809
Oct 12th, 2009
The Coolest Educational Toy
I would try to figure out if there was anything more I could have done to help him. I also would look into Sylan learning.
allowat3
Oct 14th, 2009
Creative Toys
First, I would talk to him and see if there is something bothering him more than just being stubborn and lazy. Sometimes there’s an underlying problem. Have you taken your child to the optomotrist to have his eyes checked? Sometimes kids don’t want to own up to the fact that they need glasses. If that is not the case, then I would suggest that he go through 3rd grade again, if possible with a different teacher. I would meet with that teacher at the beginning of the year and set up some kind of behavior plan where if your son does well, he gets some kind of reward. This would have to be followed through at home and at school. For example, if he does well at school, he might get more computer time or whatever he likes to do, but also, at the end of the week, he gets his favorite food or gets to go to a place he likes to eat. Private school is a last resort, I wouldn’t do that unless all else fails.
uckgluis
Oct 15th, 2009
Does Your Child Love Animals?
I would suggest to let him do it all over again. You said you and the teacher were pushing him all year. Since you tried that and it didn’t work, why don’t you try not pushing him to much. I know I learn a lot on my own. Maybe he felt pressure you might think no because he’s only in the 3 grade; but just give it a try to see what the outcome might be. Remember if you think by punishing him might help you might make him not to try at all. Give him a little space and especially some encouraging words make him feel special even though he got left back.
JACKIE
Oct 15th, 2009
Creative Toys
my son failed kindergarten grade and it seems to have helped him a lot. but he was much younger than most of his class the frist time thorugh.
also i have a younger cusion just graduated high school top of her class. she was held back ither 3rd or 4th grade. she starts at U of A in the fall.
in my opion just show him you love him try to play down the failing thing infront of him and mabe this whole exprince will be what he needs to go on to greater things.
MILAGROS
Oct 15th, 2009
Spark Your Childs Imagination
Private school is sometime more difficult for a child. You should really get him some tutoring and second opinion on any learning disabilities he may have. If you used the school services for testing your son, you should look into getting him tested by doctors outside the school district. It has been my experience that the school doctors will tell you nothing is wrong because that mean the school district will have to spend more money on your child to get him the help he really needs. You should also speak with your son and find out how he feels, maybe someone was bulling him in that case get him some counseling too. Good luck and stay on top of things (that’s the hardest part).
thewildeman2
Oct 17th, 2009
Check out these Intellectual Products
Stubborn kid? Well, Mom, in the short answer, you are going to have to get MORE stubborn than he is. Here are a couple of ideas that may help you out.
Make an area of your home into his HOMEWORK AREA. It will be all that is allowed in that area, and he cannot leave that area until his homework is done. It has to be done, period. Once his homework is done, REWARD him. Make sure he gets lots of postive feedback. If he needs help, check it out, help him. I’m not saying do his homework for him, but you want to be involved.
Now, I’m also not trying to say that you don’t get invovled. I don’t know you and don’t know what you are doing, so I give the general area of advice and you get to pick and choose what works for you.
You said that you and the teacher get involved in pushing him to do his homework and school work. Have you considered doing a contract with him? A contract is a technique used by local schools in my area. It spells out what is expected of the child and is followed by the teacher. They sign it for the child at the end of the day and send it home to you in a small notebook. You sign it and send it back. It serves as a constant reminder to your child that someone is interested and watching over his progress. If he isn’t getting his school work done in class that he is supposed do, take away recess. Make him sit and do class work while everyone else goes out to play. I’ve seen that ***** the most stubborn of the stubborn. His friends will create peer pressure to come out and play and that will leave him with only one viable choice. Do the school work.
Teach him about the future. Ask him what he wants to be when he grows up. Then explain to him how the lack of a good education and good work in school will prevent him from obtaining his dreams.
Just basic ideas here from dealing with a stubborn kid myself. I hope this helps you out somehow. Best of luck.
anarmyofalan
Oct 19th, 2009
Personalized NameTrains is the Perfect Gift
Take all the fun things away during the school year if he refuses to do his work. There is no reason he should still get to play, watch tv, play vidoe games, ect…….
Meralee
Oct 22nd, 2009
Personalized NameTrains is the Perfect Gift
Does he already know the information and is just refusing to give you the results you want?
My nephew is like this. He simply doesn’t want to do the work. He can do it all correctly the first time, but after that, on repeat assignments, he either gets it all wrong, or just won’t do it. He knows how, he’s just bored and does not see the point in doing it again.
If that’s the case, perhaps there is a way to engage him by having him teach others or go into an accellerated program.
iplaywhenican
Oct 24th, 2009
Learn How to Make Learning Fun
i had a son like this and both me and him got very frustrated we tried all the usual tricks no games no privileges punishment all of it and nothing worked what we found out on accident was he is dyslexic and no one knew it well now there are ways to teach dyslexic people and my son today works for a major computer corp doing trouble shooting and programing
crazy_monkey_jr010
Oct 28th, 2009
Personalized NameTrains is the Perfect Gift
Wow… I was gonna offer some help but then I saw all the answers you already got… they have great ideas. So all I can do is recommend you read all carefully and keep trying… don’t give up. Oh and I wish you lots of luck!!
PS: I was reading some of your answers… very nice, very funny! i love the way you think!